You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
did i walk over a car last night?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
