either way he was missing a nipple.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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