so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
