He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
