Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
