That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
