worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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