i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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