She is in my trunk
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
