Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize