Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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