You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
