it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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