so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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