hell yes lets make some ravioli
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
