He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
