I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
