Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
