We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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