The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
