So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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