I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
