I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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