I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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