yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Randomize
