ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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