the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm too high and old for this...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize