I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
