I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
