Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
