but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize