I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
