But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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