wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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