Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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