my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
