I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
