Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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