I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
