i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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