I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
