This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
