Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
the day after is always just damage control
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
