the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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