I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
