Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
