you traded sex for a burrito?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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