Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize