he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
