I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
