In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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