this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
