i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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