well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize