I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
