So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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