great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
