Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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