theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
