You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
