He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize